Children’s Feelings

• Tune in. Pay attention to how your child looks and behaves when feeling angry, sad, or happy. You’re better able to respond to your child when you know how he or she feels.

• Accept emotions. We all have negative and positive emotions. Let your child know that all of these emotions are normal.

• Label emotions. As your children show their feelings, tell them what you hear and see. Giving a name to emotions helps children recognize what they are feeling. When children can talk to others about feelings, they learn that everyone has emotions.

• Guide. Help your children learn what to do when they are upset. Look for the early signs of an outburst, when it is easier for children to control their emotions. Then help your children identify why they are upset. Talk about acceptable ways to express anger, frustration or sadness, such as using words or punching a pillow to let off steam.

• Set limits. Be clear about what behavior you can accept when your child is upset. It’s all right to be angry, but behaviors such as hitting or kicking are not OK.

• Help problem-solve. Talk about how to handle feelings. Ask your child to suggest better ways to express emotion. Support children as they work it out for themselves.

You may wonder if you can show such patience when you’re tired from a day at work. But children’s feelings demand our attention no matter how we respond. With your help, your children can understand their emotions and learn limits for their behavior. As they learn to manage their feelings, they’ll have new skills to grow on.
 

Additional Articles/Resources

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Adverse Childhood Experiences Study: http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/ace/

Everybody Gets Mad: Amercian Academy of Pediatrics advice on dealing with conflict.